Our actions or inactions matter. They are not isolated and inconsequential events. Actions however bold, entail responsibilities, therefore they require skill and a certain sagacity. In simple terms, prudence is necessary for right action. What then is prudence and how do we acquire it? These are the issues under consideration in this segment. First, a story from ancient Greece.
Voices From the Past
Creon, ruler of Thebes decreed that no one should bury the dead body of Polynikes who fell in battle fighting against his own country. Anyone who contravenes this mandate will be put to death. The dead man’s sister, Antigone, fearing that her dead brother will not find peace in the land of Hades, because the proper funeral rites will not be performed for him, decided to fulfill her fraternal duties to her deceased brother, as it is customary and right by Thebean laws. She goes ahead and buries her brother, contrary to the decree, knowing full well that her punishment, if caught, will be death. The battle of the Seven against Thebes that claimed Polynikes was a battle in which he was fighting for the throne which by right should be his, but which his brother Eteokles , who also died in the war, refused to relinquish. Eteokles, however, was accorded the proper funeral rites because he was fighting on the Thebean side, though, for what was not his to keep. But Polynikes, though fighting for what was his, but with the invading Argive army, was condemned to be carrion and branded a traitor. The king hearing what Antigone had done sentenced her to death, though she was his son betrothed. Then, his son, Haemon, seeing his beloved Antigone dead, hung on the noose of her own making, because she did not want to die buried alive in the tomb she was cast in, fell on his own sword, dispatching himself. When his mother, the queen, Creon’s wife, heard of his death, not being able to bear the grief, she also kills herself.
Now question: was Creon’s action prudent? He sentenced his ‘daughter-in-law to death. The decree however was, “do not bury a traitor. Anyone who does shall be put to death” A just decree, because treason is a crime against the state, and is punishable by death. Was Antigone’s action prudent? She disobeyed the express command of her king, which in itself is treason; although she was burying her brother an action which by the laws of Thebes was also right.
Taking into consideration the backgrounds and intentions behind the actions of Creon and Antigone, you’ll realize that the correct responses to the questions raised above are not as simples as yes or no. And everyday, life presents us with many similar situations where the correct choices or answers are not as cut and dry. Prudence is an aid that will help one navigate similar life complexities successfully.
What is Prudence?
Before we proffer a definition of the term, I think it necessary to say what prudence is not. I have heard it said that to be prudent is to be mediocre and weak, because sometimes to be prudent will mean to stay the middle course. We rather prefer a show of force and power, which are often times acclaimed as right action. I have heard it said that to be prudent is to be indecisive. Hence it makes perfect sense for us to quickly approve a drug, then after a few years with death and genetic deformities in its wake, we file a class action law suit against the pharmaceutical companies. They pay us to hush-up, we do and we repeat the exact same process all over again. I have heard it said that prudence is an archaic concept, best suited to medieval theology and philosophy. Yet as highly adaptive creatures our propensity towards violence, cruelty and for stupidity is mind blowing. Bested only by deadly viruses, we have caused more death and mayhem to ourselves and the planet more than natural disasters and animals.[1],[2],[3] Better yet, look at how much nuclear arsenal is housed by the United States and Russia alone, and how much a country like ours budgets for military defense[4] compared to what is budgeted for Healthcare and Education combined. Without prudence, we will self-destruct. This said, what then is Prudence?
Definition
A concise definition will be “the ability to govern and discipline oneself by the use of reason.” Its latin prudentia means; precaution, foreknowledge, intelligence; discretion, foresight; practical judgement/wisdom to see what is suitable or profitable;[5] a state of grasping the truth, involving reason, concerned with action about things that are good or bad for a human being.”[6] It is the ability to rein oneself and execute actions based on truth and good thinking.
Prudence is a disposition. It is a frame of mind through which we look at a situation so as to respond in the best possible way. For instance; if you offer a pen for sale for $1.00, and I accept or take the pen, a just action would be to offer you $1.00 in return for it. In like manner, if I saw a bag of money in the gym locker room, to act temperately would be to restrain myself from taking that money, since I know I did not leave it there. The same applies to the other virtues. Prudence on the other hand does not have a specific action that depicts it, but it is an overarching quality of our actions or decisions. It regulates and distinguishes actions. Prudence distinguishes bravery from recklessness, forbearance, meekness or temperance from cowardice. It is the “reason for”, the “how to” and the “when to” of an action or decision. It distinguishing a man from among men.
Solomon, king of Israel, is remembered for his wisdom, not his vast wealth. Scripture has it, that he adjudicated a case that bears recollecting. This was a case involving two prostitutes and a dead child. The story goes thus:
Then the two women came, stood before the king. The one woman said, “Oh, my lord, this woman and I dwell in the same house; and I gave birth to a child while she was in the house. Then on the third day after I was delivered, this woman also gave birth; and we were alone; there was no one else with us in the house, only we two were in the house. And this woman’s son died in the night, because she lay on it. And she arose at midnight, and took my son from beside me, while your maidservant slept, and laid it in her bosom, and laid her dead son in my bosom. When I rose in the morning to nurse my child, behold, it was dead; but when I looked at it closely in the morning, behold, it was not the child that I had borne.” But the other woman said, “No, the living child is mine, and the dead child is yours.” The first said, “No, the dead child is yours, and the living child is mine.” Thus they spoke before the king. Then the king said, “The one says, `This is my son that is alive, and your son is dead’; and the other says, `No; but your son is dead, and my son is the living one.’ “And the king said, “Bring me a sword.” So a sword was brought before the king. And the king said, “Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other.” Then the woman whose son was alive said to the king, because her heart yearned for her son, “Oh, my lord, give her the living child, and by no means slay it.” But the other said, “It shall be neither mine nor yours; divide it.” Then the king answered and said, “Give the living child to the first woman, and by no means slay it; she is its mother.” And all Israel heard of the judgment which the king had rendered; and they stood in awe of the king, because they perceived that the wisdom of God was in him, to render justice.
His ruling in this particular case is often cited as particularly wise or prudent. He exhibited prudence not in the fact of being able to return the baby to its rightful mother, it is rather in how he arrived at that verdict. He deployed psychology, and understanding of human nature. He utilized diplomacy, the act of knowing the right things to say to elicit particular responses. He applied tact, knowing when to do and say what and how. What does this mean for you the reader? Let us apply it.
Application
To follow the path less travelled, is the recipe for happiness. The injunction however does not mean the arbitrary indulgence of our every whim and caprice. That will be a foolish and an unsustainable way to live one’s life. Doing what you want means doing that which fills you with a stable sense of peace. It is that thing you’d gladly do anytime, anywhere, though you are expending yourself, it does not feel like work. It is that thing which reflects the core of who you are. It is not wishful thinking, or the stirring of our emotions and desires. This is not the yearning you have when you want ice cream, beefsteak or sex. It is not the yearning you have when you just want to smash someone’s head in with a baseball bat because you think they looked at you sideways. It is not the yearning you have to chew someone’s head off because they said good morning to you when you are in your period. None of these. The yearning I’m talking about is that sort you feel when you are about to step into something or make a decision and everything in you is screaming for you not to. But you went ahead and did it anyway because you did not want to offend someone or you wanted to be polite, or you do not want to be the odd one out. Or knowing that you have made a mistake. Then instead of trying to resolve it, you rather say, “oh well, I am too far in now. I might as well just keep at it” all the while detesting the situation with all your soul. Remember sunk cost? That yearning that wants something contrary in those situations is the sort of yearning am talking about. It is that feeling you have when you are in are in a relationship, and you know he does not do it for you, but you would rather just go along with it because you have been in the relationship over a year and your families know each other. You do not want to rock the boat and you allow it to continue till you walk down the aisle. Then you are like, “F%$*! What have I done?!” That’s what it means to do or not do what you want.
Myriads of these types of behaviors exist and for many of us, that is how we live. It keeps us in a constant state of stress and tension. Some of us have become numb to living this way and that we can no longer distinguish what we want from what we are expected to want. This dichotomy leaves us feeling empty. And we address the emptiness with excesses; overeating, alcohol/substance abuse, tv binging, porn, serial dating and meaningless sex. We are constantly after some form of thrill in the bid to dull the pain we experience in the abject dissatisfaction of our lives as we currently experience it. We avoid moments of aloneness because all the pain comes to the surface, and our blood pressure rises as well as many other physiological symptoms.
But with prudence as guide in our lives, we can reclaim the life we want and envisaged for ourselves. We can right the wrongs we have done and forge ahead into new beginnings. How can we make this happen?
Becoming Prudent
We are born with the propensity to be prudent. Acting prudently, however, has to be learned. Cultivating it helps us become our best selves. It is important to be patient with yourself as your develop your sense of prudence. The person you are today, is a result of many years of habits that have crystalized into who you are now. You will not be able to change that overnight. Applying these principles and seeing the result in your life will require patience and constant gradual effort. To become prudent, first, learn to remember.
Retrospection/Reflection: Learn from the past is almost cliche, but it is true. To be prudent, develop the habit of trying to understand the things that happen in your life and around you, and always seek out good counsel. Contrary to popular thinking, babies are not born with the innate fear of snakes. Their fears are learned, which is also why phobias can be cured. To be prudent, learn from the past, either via recollecting and reflecting on your own experiences, seeking counsel/advice of those who have said experiences, older people or from studying. This gives you the combined perspective of not only the author, but also of those s/he had to consult in writing the book/article. Learn to journal. It helps you clarify your thoughts and intentions, and more so, it helps you to sit in judgment over yourself.
Be Rational: Learn to take concrete facts into account regardless of how you feel. And if you must make a judgement based on how you feel, be aware that you are making that judgment based on your emotional state or preference. This is easier said than done. A very powerful and yet illustrative example is the event that happened between my friend and her 2year old daughter. “Nancy, go grab your backpack so I can drop you off at school.” Nancy grabs the bag, then says, “Mommy, you said you will dump me in the trash? Bhahabha!!!” A huge cry and tantrum ensues. Funny, but sometimes we adults do the same thing. For instance you ask your girlfriend or wife, “honey what’s wrong? You don’t look very happy.” She says, “nothing.” Then you say, “Ok. Dang did you see that touch down?” And she responds, “You just don’t care about me or this relationship. All you care about is yourself!” And you are thinking, “Okkk…what I do?” Prudence is rational, in that it sees things for what they really are, not as they appear to be. In both examples, Nancy and the partner are looking for something but have not communicated it. However, they have also made judgements based on their non-communicated desires, leading the one to say that they are going to be thrown in the trash, and the other to proclaim that the other does not care. Learn to take the facts into consideration as you make judgments, but like as I said, its easier said than done.
Foresight: Develop the habit of seeing into the future. That is, be able to extrapolate what could possibly or probably happen in the future, from what is happening currently. Prudence is far seeing. Every action or inaction, has an equal and opposite reaction or inaction. For instance, if you stick a finger into a still pond, it will create a ripple. The ripple will cause a wave, which may turn over objects on the surface of that pond, which will only cause more ripples or waves, which will increase the amount of force or pressure that will be exerted on the wall of the pond or shores, which could lead to the collapse of the walls of the pond or a tsunami. Prudence therefore is able to see as far as possible into the future and is able to hedge against worst possible downsides, while maximizing the upsides.
Docile/Humble: Be aware of what you do not know and do not be ashamed to ask questions. Prudence is aware of what it knows and what it does not. It does not hesitate to seek the help it needs to compensate for or remedy its short falls. And what it knows it freely gives.
Measured/Shrewd: Be measured in action. Take your time to intuit into motives before you act. Now when you make your calculation, do you have to be a 100% certain before you can make a decision? I don’t think so. Not only because it is not humanly possible to be that sure about anything, but also because you will cause yourself to stall, a state of inaction. There will always be facts, circumstances to consider and the situation will almost always be in flux. So with a 70% clarity, you should make a decision. That is measured enough. How do you arrive at that 70%? Ascertain the following: a) what is most important to you in said situation?; b) what is most important to the other party?; c) What are your intentions?; d) What are their intentions?; e) Is there anyway the things most important to all parties can align? Knowing these will help you decipher exactly how much impact your ripple will cause, how far it will go, how much wave it will raise, and the exact amount of pressure to apply to get the desired results, or how much defense to put up, where and how avoid the oncoming wave.
Goal Oriented: A prudent action has a particular goal it is aiming for. It is not arbitrary nor passive in its pursuits. Prudence knows what it wants to achieve and it marshals resources at its disposal toward that end. Outcomes from its actions are not unintended, and even when the unexpected happens, it is usually within the confines of possibilities given the circumstance of the situation-at least humanly speaking. This does not and cannot factor in those events or situations properly defined as force majeure or acts of God.
Most critically, a prudent action is Just: Justice is a hallmark of a prudent action. This means that a prudent action does not deprive others of what rightfully belongs to them for instance; I decided to get married and when I made that decision, the only thing I took into consideration was my wife’s physical features. All well and good. Then 4 years later, we have 3 children and she is not one to go to the gym, or subscribe to weight watchers. Lo and behold, that 145 lbs chic is now 350 lbs, rarely ever gets her hair or nails done any more, and maybe takes a shower three times a week, on a good week! And I come to this Eureka moment, “ Aha! I want to follow my own path and live my life!” Great! But yo!, You got 3 children that did not ask to be brought into this world, you owe them. How are you going to make good on that? Therefore a prudent act is just, it pays its dues and finishes what it starts.
In sum, live life, be bold, be very bold. But let prudence guide that boldness, lest you mistake recklessness and irresponsibility for boldness, or mistake timidity and fear for caution. A prudent act is a human act.
[1]https://ourworldindata.org/natural-disasters
[2]https://ourworldindata.org/homicides
[3]https://www.statista.com/statistics/448169/deadliest-creatures-in-the-world-by-number-of-human-deaths/
[4] https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/BUDGET-2021-BUD/pdf/BUDGET-2021-BUD-9.pdf
$705 billion to the DOD vs $66.6 billion to the Department of Education and 94.5 billion to the Department of Health and Human Services.
[5] https://www.etymonline.com/word/Prudence
[6] Aristotle. Nicomachean Ethics Bk 6, Section 5
[1]https://ourworldindata.org/natural-disasters
[2]https://ourworldindata.org/homicides
[3]https://www.statista.com/statistics/448169/deadliest-creatures-in-the-world-by-number-of-human-deaths/
[4] https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/BUDGET-2021-BUD/pdf/BUDGET-2021-BUD-9.pdf
$705 billion to the DOD vs $66.6 billion to the Department of Education and 94.5 billion to the Department of Health and Human Services.
[5] https://www.etymonline.com/word/Prudence
[6] Aristotle. Nicomachean Ethics Bk 6, Section 5